EREN ÖĞRÜL
Projects About Themes Linkedin Github Spotify

Be Like An Octopus

October 06, 2020

I am an introvert. I am your friend who waits in front of the bar for you to come. Because, I have no clue what I can do inside of the bar alone while there will be no familiar face around me to make me feel safe. I am also very shy to start a conversation with a stranger, so it will be a total anxiety attack for me to wait for someone. I feel like all eyes on me, everyone is staring at me, gossiping about me like “Who is this weirdo?“

All we know is that none of them are true. No one is staring at me, no one is gossiping about me, and no one cares who I am. But an introvert mind hears so many noises that are talking non-stop, criticising ruthlessly, and challenging the will which wants to take a step forward. And we know an introvert person will never take a step forward. And, it is very obvious, I just want my friend to come and save me from my misery. Each second becomes a minute and each minute becomes an hour. Sometimes, I even sweat. Just because waiting for someone.

Octopuses are pretty much like an introvert person. They are introvert creatures of the seas, they are very shy, and they pretty much want to be alone and hiding under their small caves unless they want to hunt, to mate, or to play with fish to stretch their arms. Yet, they are very smart, outwitt pretty much every other sea creature, very curious about everything, great observers, good at learning complex things, easily adapt themselves to every environment, and they are too unruly. If you want them to do something you want, they will most likely not and will do whatever they want.

What fascinates me the most about octopuses is their recovery process. Unlike us, the law of the jungle is applicable to them. They are surrounded by the real danger every day, and they have so many enemies waiting for to eat them (this includes humans as well) whenever they get a chance. When they lost one or more of their arms, they still carry on as before, and within couple of days later, their biochemistry start changing, and losts arms are covered with knobs. In two weeks, little knobs turns into hook-like structure, and around 100 days later, lost arms are being replaced with the new and fully functional ones. Within the whole process, octopus knows how to continue with its life even it was suffered from a tremendous physical pain and/ or a trauma. But, what about me?

For me, it was always hard to recover, especially from my non-physical injuries. They were always flashing back in front of my eyes, making me hold my breath for couple of seconds, and I freeze for a moment. They inherently made me an introvert person, not that I choose to be. But in the end, I chose to continue to be an introvert. Because, when I was so used to hide under my cave to recover, it became very comfortable, and I didn't want to take any step forward afterwards. However, most of the cases, recovery doesn't take too much time and you need to open up and continue with your life. This, was also the moment, where I realized what to be like an octopus. Because, octopus continues with its life within couple of days, while for me it was never the case. I am not even sure if I wanted to fully recover, anyways. Thus far, time to move on, and leave the past and drop the heaviness of it off my shoulders.

It is time to be like an octopus. Recover fast, adapt to new environments quickly, be a great observer, and let the past go. It is not that somebody wants it or thinks it is better for me, but I heartfully believe it is the best decision for me. Maybe, this time I will be a lightweight introvert who is just shy but knows how to engage when he wants and needs to, and hopefully doesn't have to wait outside of the bar.