It was 26th of April when I received a message from my sister about my dad. “Doctor called. Our father passed away.” was written in the message.
Both my parents and my sister got COVID-19 at the same time from an unknown source one month ago. I was trying to be hopeful but, something was distressing me all the time. And one night before my father passed away, I was able to sleep only for 5 minutes and would wake up because of weird nightmares and then would fall asleep again. This repeated again and again. It was the most tiring, scary and disturbing sleeping experience I had ever had in my life.
After I read the message my sister sent me in the early morning, I was in shock. I was petrified and looking at my phone over and over to make sure I read it correctly. When my brain accepted the reality, my tears were bucketing down non-stop. Then, something happened…
I felt a very strong weird feeling in my heart. Like my heart was cracked open. And I felt the untouched core of it. It was the pure form of love. Love towards my parents and my sister. Love towards myself. Love towards the world… The more I felt the love, the more I was crying hysterically.
At first, I made nothing of this weird feeling in that moment. Because, I realized I knew the feeling of love superfically. I had never thought it was beyond songs, movies, relationships or words. I had never thought it was a scary very powerful feeling beyond any imagination.
I’m saying this because I learned what is love the hard way. If my heart wouldn’t crack open, I wouldn’t see the core of it. And I wouldn’t learn what love really is.
I also believe every one of us is having the same core in our hearts. But it is covered with something that requires to be cracked.
And when it is cracked, you will see what the love really is.